Vita est Acerbus-Dulcis: Flavor of Life

28th January 2012

Post with 3 notes

How to Make Someone Happy

Are you feeling good and want to make someone else feel good too? Do you have a friend who is feeling sad? Here are a few ways to make someone!

1. Smile at them. Learn how to have a real smile, and care about people. Learn how to feel compassion when regarding someone.
2. Tell them a funny joke. Inside jokes work really well, especially if it is something only between the two of you. Learn how to make them laugh.
3. Find something funny online that you absolutely know they’ll like and send it to them in an email.
4. Compliment them sincerely. Tell them something you love about them.
5. Invite them to do something fun with you. Go bowling, swimming, or something else fun and active.
6. Pick a dandelion or blade of grass and give it to them. Say things such as, “I got this especially for you!” or “I picked this weed just for you!” It is different and might make themlaugh at your silliness, make them smile at your sweet nature.
7. Listen to them. Try to understand their thoughts and be in their shoes. This shows you care and love them, whether they may appreciate it or not. Be there. They will come to realize what a friend you’ve been.
8. Hug the person. If you have an open relationship with someone, a warm and affectionate hug can lift the spirits and bring a sense of joy and community.
9. Give a gift. Take the time out to pick out a special gift that is suitable for the person. The more thought you put into the gift, the better it is from the point of being an expression of positive energy. Be sure to include an inscription in the gift wherever possible, and make the message one that is uplifting and spiritual.
10. Spend quality time with the person. Plan for an event or simply time together in which you share precious moments on this world in each other’s company.
11. Constantly remind the person how much you value them, but don’t go too overboard. Positive affirmations to others can help build the bridge of friendship and trust. Never use sarcasm though, as sarcasm is the biggest turn-off when it comes to building strong bonds with people.
12. If you want to get creative with some of your compliments or “I love yous” depending on your relationship, you can always hide a little note saying any of these things and have a little fun with it. This can make him/her feel like you’re really going the extra mile and that they mean something to you.

Tips

• Listen to what they have to say and let them know that you are there to help if needed.
• If they don’t want to talk about it then don’t annoy them by trying to find out about what is bothering them. Bring something else up like “What are you doing this weekend?” etc.
• Be happy yourself. You’re saying, I know how to be happy - follow me! It can fade their sadness, getting in touch with their desire to enjoy themselves instead of shedding tears.
• Do something that encourages sweating. Football, soccer, basketball, a jog with you two together, dancing, bowling, cleaning up the garage, etc.
• Give your friend a hug! Tell them how you feel about them.
• Take him/her to see animals, especially when he/she loves them!
• Do something that is familiar and entertains him/her.
• Let them know that you’re comfortable with them around - say “Vera! I love you!”, “I missed you!”, “I love being around you!”, “It’s so nice to be here with you”, etc. The other person would appreciate knowing that they’re appreciated! Say anything sweet you truly mean, but have always kept on the inside. It’ll make them smile physically and mentally, knowing that it came from the bottom of your heart.
• Make sure they know that you’ll be there for them no matter what.
• Try not to insult them with some of your ‘compliments’. That could lead to more sadness.

Warnings

• If your friend wants to be alone, leave him or her alone, but let them know that if they change their mind and want to talk, you’re willing to hear whatever they have to say.
• If your friend is upset about someone, don’t say bad things about that person, to make things worse. It’d just encourage negative feelings towards that someone he/she is thinking of.
• Try to avoid making comments about how you pity him/her.
• Don’t try too hard to cheer this other person up, meaning trying for a long period of time without any success. If you do, they can start thinking that you can’t make them happy.
• Going too overboard or being too forward about things can make the other person feel awkward.

Things You’ll Need

• A ready smile
• Patience
• A few kind words
• Someone to make happy
• The ability to think positively

Tagged: lovehopehappinesskindnessgenerosityfunfriendfamilyrelationshipgivejokelistenhuggiftquality timevaluecreative

Source: wikihow.com

28th January 2012

Post with 1 note

BEING HAPPY FOR SOMEONE ELSE (by corrine)

An outstanding example of complete selflessness is Retired Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, a woman who not has had a brilliant career but has a huge heart and is an example of great love to us all.

Her husband, who lives at a Phoenix facility for people with Alzheimer’s, has found a new romance. He and the woman, referred to only as “Kay,” another patient, are “teenagers in love.”

“Mom was thrilled that dad was relaxed and happy and comfortable living here, and wasn’t complaining,” one of the O’Connors’ three sons, Scott, said on television. “For Mom to visit when he’s happy … visiting with his girlfriend, sitting on the porch swing holding hands,” was a relief after a long, painful period for him.

The whole nation stands, not only in awe of her love and compassion, but her courageous transparency in revealing the situation.

Why can’t we be happy for someone else?

Most of us live in a smaller world. We compare ourselves to other people and secretly resent their good luck. Why did it happen to them and not us?

One of our friends just inherited a substantial estate and has moved into an affluent neighborhood. They still want to maintain the friendship with us but something has changed. We feel uncomfortable when we visit their beautiful new home and then return to our modest surroundings.

Somehow we feel diminished. Why has the God of Good Fortune visited their family and not ours? We’ve lived a good life and worked hard also. Why them?

A friend, who is a widow, met a wonderful man on the Internet. He is a widower and was also lonely.

It occurred seemingly accidently and I happen to have a part in it. I encouraged her to put her profile on line. She resisted because she felt that “people would see it” and she would be embarrassed.

I convinced her that the only ones who would see it would be someone who was looking – so she reluctantly agreed to do it.

The widower found her because he was checking his email on Yahoo and noticed the Yahoo personals part of the site. He looked at it out of curiosity.

They are a couple now and very happy together.

But, her best friend of many years rejected him. She ended the relationship.

I can’t figure it out and neither can my friend. Why would she resent an old friend’s new happiness? Jealousy? Competition?Why?

What do we have to do so that we can rejoice for one another?

It seems to be tied into the value we put on ourselves which is determined by how we measure up to other people. That is our yardstick.

And yet, we know that money and prestige do not equal happiness. We have seen it every day in the news where rich celebrities have many more problems than we have. Most of us are not in trouble with the law or have had to go to rehab.

The everyday person, who is never featured in the news because we are just not “news,” is getting along. Somehow, our bills are getting paid. We are happy in our lives, thank you. We have nice surroundings, even if they are not luxurious. We cut our small lawns in the summer and shovel our snow in the winter and we are doing just fine. We may fight now and then with our spouses but there is also a lot of laughter in our kitchens.

It is time for us to come home. To ourselves. To be grateful for what we have. We can only sleep in one bed at a time. Eat one meal at a time. More bedrooms in a bigger house will not make for greater happiness.

More money or a new relationship will not make us feel more secure unless we are secure in ourselves.

Gratitude is the answer. To want and appreciate what we already have. To be pleased with the fact that we are enjoying good health.To treasure our families more and the love of our parents, children or spouses. To enjoy the holidays with them with the joy of being together. Not for the value of the gifts.

These are the blessings of our life. Not material things like an inheritance. Not a new relationship. The comforts and contentment we already have.

When we get to that state of mind, we realize that what we have is priceless. We already have everything. We still may want more – but we don’t need more.

Perhaps then we can move into an attitude like Sandra Day O’Connor. Being happy for someone we cherish. I am sure she looks at her husband of many years as a child who is content now.She is generous with her feelings toward another human being who bears little resemblance to the high-powered man she once knew as her husband, partner and the father of her children.

We can then be pleased with someone else’s good fortune and their happiness because we are sharing the same abundance.

When we focus on thankfulness for what we already have, we are happy with our life just as it is.

Tagged: happinessfamilyfriendslovehopepainsorrowgriefanxietydepressionjealousycompetition

Source: personal-growth-with-corinne-edwards.com

28th January 2012

Post

So first 2 weeks of school complete.

So far, it’s not so bad. I got all the classes I needed. And it’s not too much of a heavy load academically. I have a lunch break when I could actually see some friends. And I get out at a reasonable time everyday, besides Tuesdays. Plus, I have an extra day off in the week. Not needed, but sweet to have. 

I got all the books I needed, though I’m a lil more broke than I would like to be. I still need to get a few supplies here and there, but nothing that costs too much which is nice. I have at least one friend that I already know in each of my academic courses, and for the other classes, people seem to be rather friendly and I’ve spoken with a few them already. 

I’ve gotten my circadian rhythm back in place for the most part — back to going to sleep early, waking up early, eat at this hour, study at this hour, etc etc. And I actually look forward to going to school. So far I’ve gotten back into habit of working out pretty regularly, though I’ve never really stopped working out, but now it’s more frequent and consistent without over doing it nor bullshitting it. And I’ve gotten into the habit of eating regularly again at reasonable times, without having to skip any meals. And for the most part, back to eating a lil more healthy and smaller portions. 

My academic courses aren’t exactly the most exciting, and honestly, they’re rather boring. But thank goodness, the material isn’t overwhelming because I’ve given myself a doable load work and study-wise. I’ve even allowed myself to take a nap every now and then, though I’m still practicing on getting the duration down. The last couple naps were a lil too long, and through off my sleep pattern off slightly. 

So college-wise, I’m feeling pretty optimistic. I just need to learn to balance everything else out, some aspects needing more attention than others, but it’s just needs to get done. Hopefully thing’s still good. And other things follow their example. Which reminds me, I need to finish my homework and studies now so I could enjoy the rest of my weekend without worry. 

Yay for consistency and improvement. 

Thank you. 

Tagged: schoolcollegeworktimefriendshealthfoodhomeworkexercisedietnapssleepstudies

28th January 2012

Question

bmodest asked: I dont know why it wont let me reply to your last post but I want you to now that I do understand and I am here for you. I told you this past weekend, I'm here to listen, and do just that, listen. I won't judge, I won't preach to you, I won't try to fix you. I'll just listen and understand. I'm here for you, while maybe not in the physical sense, just know that I am here for you.

I don’t know why it wouldn’t let you reply, but thank you for sending me this message. Everything just feels kinda difficult at the moment, and if things are getting better, it’s sure is moving at a glacial pace. But yay for progress. Not many people know how to listen, when it’s personal, some people are just so quick to jump in, give advice, jump the gun, judge, assume.. and sometimes it’s out of good intentions, but that’s not what people need all the time. It’s not what I need most of the time. Some people just don’t get it because they assume we think the way they think, they need to learn to put themselves in other people’s shoes and think the way they would feel. 

Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for being there for me, even if it’s not in a physical sense. *hugs tightly* I wish travel money didn’t add up to be so much over time.